


Incendiary

by MusicalRaven



Series: Transman!Arin [4]
Category: Game Grumps, Real Person Fiction, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Dysphoria, Exploration, M/M, Poetry, Scars, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalRaven/pseuds/MusicalRaven
Summary: Dan traces over Arin's top surgery scars and Arin finds himself feeling more for the man than he expected[Can be read as a stand-alone]





	Incendiary

**Author's Note:**

> Hey two in one night what up. I love my trans boy and I needed to write more about him so here you go. Sorry this series is so Angsty but it figures considering my own experiences

Arin wasn't sure how fingers could be  
This loud  
As they ran over his skin  
Fireworks and a drill press  
Vibrating against his skull  
He breathed out  
Letting him feel the places were he'd been remade  
As if he were a statue  
On display  
Eyes shut tight.

Dan's touch was hesitant  
And he could imagine  
Him biting his lip  
Eyes trained on the scars  
Mountains and valleys without a sea  
And Arin could see the curiosity  
That would linger  
With each short press of skin  
Feeling along an anomaly  
He'd never seen before.

Everything was tight  
Taunt  
And he wondered why  
He let Dan map the places he tried to forget  
A solid thumping beneath his ribcage letting him know  
Exactly why  
And he tried to stifle  
The flush on his cheeks  
The need to feel  
More  
And to keep him away  
From discovering too much that  
He already knew.  
The urge to reach out  
Hold Dan there  
Centered  
Was strong but  
He balled his fists in his lap instead.

"They're so red," Dan  
Murmured  
Soft  
His thumb swiping over a ridge  
And Arin attempted not to  
Jump  
As he nodded.

"They'll be pretty visible  
For a while."  
He let himself  
Open his eyes as he gauged  
Dan's reaction.  
He wasn't too keen on reminding himself that  
This red beacon would stay for  
Much too long  
And even then the scars  
Would continue to be a reminder  
That he had chosen to be Frankenstein's monster.

Dan's face was  
Alight  
And he traced them as he said,  
"Man  
I don't have any  
Cool scars."  
Warmth crawled into Arin's chest  
And he swallowed  
Hard  
Dan leaning closer to study the scars  
More clearly  
His stomach brushing Arin's thigh  
And  
Shit

"Can I put my shirt back on now?"  
Arin tried to joke but it came out  
Wobbly and he cleared his throat  
But Dan is already  
Backing away  
Biting down on his lip as he rocks back on  
His heels.

"Sorry,"  
Dan said  
His face  
Flushed  
As Arin turns his attention to pulling his shirt  
Back over his chest and down past his  
Navel  
Arin can breathe again.

"How long ago did you get that done?"  
Hand on the back of his neck  
Dan can't meet Arin's gaze  
And maybe that's a good thing  
Cause Arin quickly finds himself sidetracked  
A stray curl hanging in front of  
Dan's face that he wants  
To reach forward and  
Tuck behind his ear  
Thinking how Dan's face would flush even more  
And Arin thinks  
How he would  
Like to see that.

"A year or so,"  
He said after  
Several long seconds  
Eyes drifting to Dan's hands where he is  
Twisting and pulling his fingers  
As if he can't bear to  
Sit still.

"I can't believe I didn't realize,"  
Dan said  
Quiet as he  
Shook his head  
"I mean shit, dude, you had major  
Surgery and I didn't even  
Know."  
He looks lost and  
Arin wants to  
Reassure him that no one but Suzy  
Was able to know  
He couldn't share without  
Exposing so much  
But  
He just  
Shrugged.

Suddenly there is  
Silence growing  
Between them and they can't seem  
To look at each other.  
Something warm is still in Arin's chest  
And he wants Dan closer again but  
He doesn't at the same time and he is frustrated  
And staring at Dan's fingers  
Twist  
Pull  
Twist  
Pull

And then he's covering his hand with his own  
Stopping the motion with a squeeze and  
Dan paused  
Eyes meeting  
And where his skin touches Dan's he feels  
Something burning but  
He doesn't pull away he just lets himself  
Feel the burning spark down over his fingertips  
Up his arm  
As Dan swallows  
Hard.

"Arin,"  
He said and his voice was  
Like fireworks and a drill press  
Vibrating against Arin's skull  
And he could not say why he stood  
But the pounding of his feet on the stairs was  
Enough to  
Let him imagine  
Dan's eyes following his retreating figure  
The fire still lingering  
On his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> Come join me over on [tumblr](musicalravencreates.tumblr.com)!


End file.
